The Big Blanket That Won't Go Away

I'm not sure how many years ago the arm knitting craze started but it was an enjoyable task to teach non-knitters how to knit without having to purchase tools, only yarn. In the beginning, all that was expected of a person was to hold multiple strands of yarn together, regardless of weight or texture, (in fact the more weights, textures and colours, the better) and with a little 'in out over' magic, one could create a scarf in under an hour.

Then someone decided that a blanket arm knit with merino roving would be a great idea.

Since closing the brick and mortar store I have misplaced our handy pattern plus price tag for the 'special order only' yarn that we had at our disposal but I still have the story that went with it which goes a little something like this.

Customer: I'd like to arm knit a blanket.

Me (or Margaret or Anne) holding up pattern: Like this one?

Customer: Exactly!

Me: No. You don't.

Customer (perplexed): Why not?

Me with my finger indicating the price highlighted in neon yellow marker: Because it will cost you this much ($$$) to make it and then after you've used it a little while, you're just going to throw it away because you can't wash it.

Customer (eyes bugged out and gasping): |How ... Wha-... Why?

Me: Because the roving will pill or pull apart while you are working with it. Then it will pill even more and get dirty when you use it and if you try to wash it in the washing machine, it will either fall apart or felt to the size of a very expensive dog bed.

Determined Customer: So I can wash it if I'm really careful and hand wash it?

Me: Oh. You CAN hand wash it. In the bathtub. And when you try to take it out of the tub, it will be like wrestling a drunk St. Bernard. And then you'll have to lay it out on a rug or bed somewhere for 6 weeks just to dry it out. And even then there's no guarantee it will ever look remotely close to the beautiful picture you saw and wanted to re-create.

Customer: Maybe show me some yarn for socks ...

Can you tell I've been getting more requests for the supplies to make these blankets? While I prefer to use my humorous approach to deter the eager person who believes they're up for the challenge, some require a more down to earth approach. So, for the more serious explanation, here is a video I found recently on YouTube from The Woolery.

It's amazing what happens to that squishy blanket when a beloved pet gets ahold of it.

Oh. I almost forgot! Make sure you pee before you get started 'cause you can't take it with you to the bathroom halfway through!

So the moral of the story is - If you want to make a quick gift out of yarn, arm knit a scarf.

written by Lori, bewildered TCL owner, who can't believe there are still so many people who haven't figured out how impractical these blankets are.