Monday, June 27, 2016

The Silence of the Llamas

I can see fine. Just give me
 the keys to the car..
So I'm reading up on llamas and I come to an interesting piece of information.

Llamas are naturally docile, can easily be trained to be led, and are pleasant to be around. However, if they are coddled as babies, bottle fed, and treated with love, when they are in their youth, they become nasty. They'll spit, and kick, and try to neck wrestle with their care givers.

Sound familiar?

They become teenagers! Entitled teenagers who turn on everyone.

You know who I'm talking about. That wonderful bundle of joy that you had years ago which brought rejoicing to your family, until
Sigh. Do I really have to explain this
again? It's like a mix between punk,
techno, and hair band. And it does
not sound like a screaming cat. 
he decided that crying at the top of his lungs was a great way to
spend the night.

You lovingly fed this child, being careful to only give him the best and most nutritious food to throw on the floor.

You cuddled that child along with the smelly teddy bear.

When she got sick you stayed up all night cleaning sheets and bringing cool cloths.

You stayed up late baking cupcakes for an entire class on her birthday, and then on top of it had an actual birthday party.

You drove her to soccer and ballet and piano lessons, eating dinner in the car and then sat through hours of recitals where other kids mangled their instruments and tripped over their feet, and more hours of matches where you heard other parents scream at the kids and hurl abuse at the referees, just so you could support your little darling.

It's not too much make-up. My hair is
not a weird color. My skirt is not too
short or too tight. Everybody has
cleavage. And the other girls are
doing it. Like chill. Oh, can I
get a piercing in my nose?

Dude. We was just hanging out. Okay
my grades suck. Do we have to do
this now? My buds is waiting for me.

You found my retainer under my bed?
Yeah, I was looking for that. And it
ain't my fault that the dishes under
there got moldy.
You helped with his homework, including that stupid messy volcano, and you read to him the same book over and over again until you wished that the hungry caterpillar would eat itself.

He embarrassed you when he fell on the floor in a full blown tantrum in the middle of Wal-Mart because you wouldn't buy him slime and everyone looked at you as if you were the worst parent to ever exist.

And the biggest test of your endurance - Dora, Barney, Teletubbies and the song that never ends.

Yeah, that kid, that now hisses and spits and rolls their eyes so much they should get dizzy and pass out.

That's what a well-loved and cared for llama becomes as a teenager.

As for the rest of the llamas, they give us lovely light, warm and soft yarns that are often non-allergic because it contains no lanolin or oils. And they do this while they speak Spanish. I can't speak Spanish so I'm impressed.

This week's sale!

75% OFF

Diamond Luxury Collection Llama Silk
40% wool, 30% llama, 30% silk (chunky)

We have four colors and none of them are
this one. I blame it on teenage llamas.

Regular Price: $17.00
Sale Price: $4.25

 Posted by Anna Maria Junus (happy employee who has lived for the past twenty years with llamas.)

Dude, it wasn't my fault. Some wheezer
was baking a cake and was totally obliv
to the emerald circle. If they had gunned
then I wouldn't have slammed.. No one
got trashed. Chill about the wheels. I
can knock out the dents.

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